Still Dreaming About What Life Could Be Like

Here goes my first post. Despite trying to find a play partner for several years I'm still new to this scene, but am pretty sure that I secretly wanted to try being a sub bottom for another man well before I started looking. I still have hope that I will eventually meet someone in RL that will help me explore my mild side and then move into my wild side. I need to find someone local to help me, but considering where I live the odds are pretty slim. In case you're wondering, I am not in a position in my life to be able to relocate.


I have an imagination that can run amuck from time to time if I am inspired by a particularly lurid thought. I often wonder if, when I share my stories/fantasies with potential partners, I end up scaring them off for fear of how deeply my mind travels into my fantasies. Are they afraid they will disappoint me or are they afraid of investing their time because they're sure I will back out because nobody in RL wants to do any of the stuff I write about?
When I watch porn it always seems to me like the bottom is the one who has the most fun, so maybe my submissive desires are a little self-serving. The stories I write actually seem to write themselves as I get sucked into a spiral feeding my fantasies and desires. The scenes can sometimes drag on from a few paragraphs to a few pages or even more depending on how far down the rabbit hole I go. Not everything I write about is totally realistic, but they tease of possibilities, and I sometimes use them to inspire myself for tangents to dive into later. I like to have fun with it, but sometimes I can spend days typing away because the story line pulls me in so many different directions. I figured I would post one or two to see what feedback I get. Who knows, maybe I'll even win one of these blog contests?

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